oanja | I'd Hate To See You Frown [6/6]

Masterpost | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six

~*~

The greenhouse was incredibly hot and humid during the summer, even with some of the windows open, and Spencer felt his brow grow moist with perspiration moments after he had stepped inside. The place smelled heady, black earth, plants and flowers they all mixed together and Spencer could see why his mother enjoyed her work here so much.

“Oh, Spencer, I was just on my way to take these flowers inside for the girls to arrange. What are you doing here?” Vivian asked as they met on the narrow path between the two plant beds.

“I wished to speak with Brendon, is he here?” Spencer asked and tried to look around his mother but could not see the whole room, for the greenery was lush and covered much.

Vivian smiled and pointed at the second row. “He’s there. Such a sweet boy he is. I think he is not as interested in the natural sciences as he pretends but he is a great help in either case. Are you finally here to make things right between the two of you?” She asked looking searchingly at Spencer. “I do not know what it is, but it is making you both seem so miserable.”

“I hope I will be able to make amends, just please give us some time alone,” Spencer asked, and received a nod and a smile in return. “Of course, just do not take your reconciliation too far in here. It is hardly the appropriate location,” She added, with a devilish glimmer in her eye and walked out leaving Spencer behind still wordlessly sputtering at his mother’s behaviour.

Spencer shook his head at the ease with which his mother was still able to shock him, and walked deeper into the greenhouse and towards the direction Vivian had pointed out. As promised, Brendon was sitting on a low stool and appeared to be weeding something. “Brendon, I believe we need to have a conversation,” Spencer said when he was standing only a few feet away from his spouse.

“What do you wish to talk about?” Brendon asked and continued weeding, without even looking up.

He almost began by saying, ‘Ryan thinks that’ but decided it would be wise not to mention Ryan to Brendon for the time being. He thought his tendency to speak of Ryan quite often had only fuelled Brendon’s resentment and assumptions. Instead he asked bluntly, “Do you believe I have been unfaithful to you?”

Brendon’s hands closed into fists, digging up some of the soil with the plants. He still did not look at Spencer. “It has become impossible for me not to know what is going on. What I do not understand is why did you not just marry Ryan. Your father’s company is very successful and in time I am sure my father would have agreed to the business agreement without the marriage.”

“Brendon, please believe me when I tell you that I think of Ryan as my brother. When you ask me why I did not marry him is to me like you asked why I did not marry Josie or Peggy. Just the thought of it is utterly bizarre and unthinkable,” Spencer said and kneeled down on the ground even though he knew he was ruining his trousers.

“I… I find that so hard to believe, Spencer. You are always together, you touch each other so casually and when you look at each other it seems as if you do not even need words to understand each other. How is that not love?” Brendon asked, his voice so quiet that Spencer had to struggle to hear it.

“It is love, Brendon, just not the kind you think it is. I have known him for as long as I can remember, so it is natural we are easy with each other and understand each other better than other people but it does not mean I wish to kiss him or… well, I am sure you know what I mean,” Spencer said, feeling rather uncomfortable with the subject.

Brendon let go of the dirt in his hands and his posture relaxed minutely but still he said, “He was so devastated after we were married, he has been, do not try to deny it. Even your whole family knows of this. That is why he lived with us in London and why you came here early.”

This made Spencer gasp, quite horrified. “You believed my whole family was aware of my dalliance with Ryan? You think so little of all of us? That we would be so cruel and heartless?”

“I do not know what I was supposed to think! You were all so friendly and welcoming. I have grown so attached to… your family, but they all seemed to know what was going on between you two and were helping you be together.” Brendon was crying now, or at least his voice was wavering, as Spencer could not see his downcast face.

Spencer thought back to what had happened during June and thought to himself that could it be possible none of them had explained what was going on with Ryan to Brendon? “It is not so Brendon. It is true that Ryan has not been himself lately but it has nothing to do with our marriage. Ryan was attached to Mister Wentz - you two met at that one ball during June? But the relationship ended badly, Ryan had thought his suitor to be serious but it seems he was only taking advantage of Ryan.” He tried to explain the situation as simply as he could.

Now Brendon looked at him, still appearing quite doubtful. “It is true, I swear to you. When we get back to the house you may speak with Ryan about this and I am sure he will disclose the nature of his attachment to you in confidence. And if this does not satisfy you, Captain Bryar knows the circumstances as well. If you think all of them would lie we may ask my father for the letters I wrote to him when you were still in America when I first began to worry about Ryan’s relationship with Mister Wentz. Please, Brendon, believe me when I say I would not betray you in this manner and that even if I was such a heartless man, do you honestly in your heart believe that my mother or my sisters would be capable of such treachery as well?”

“I… I want to believe you, I do,” Brendon said, turning to face Spencer more directly and Spencer took the opportunity and linked their hands together, not caring that he got his hands dirty from the soil Brendon’s fingers were covered with.

He searched Brendon’s troubled brown eyes for clues of how to fix this, once and for all. “Tell me, how can I convince you? I believe I would do anything just to see you happy again.”

Brendon swallowed and licked his lips, looking unsure. “Why have we not… if you truly have been faithful… you have not shown any interest in me,” Brendon finally settled with, blushing fiercely and trying to pull his hands away, but Spencer did not let go.

“The matter seemed to unsettle you, and I did not wish for that. I said we would wait until we were comfortable with one another, did I not? I was only waiting for you to show some sign you would find an advance welcome. You must have noticed that you have never kissed me or initiated any form of physical contact,” Spencer explained, feeling rather flushed as well, which had nothing to do with the ambient temperature of the greenhouse.

“Oh,” Brendon breathed out looking rather bewildered.

Spencer thought that perhaps he had in this case been slightly too gentlemanlike so he added just to make sure there was no residual confusion left. “Brendon, I find you desirable. You are a very handsome man and when you are free with yourself your personality is magnetic. When you were still happy with me in May I had to exercise great self-restraint not to kiss you every time you smiled, or when you blushed and ducked your head down, but still seemed pleased. Do you remember?”

Now Brendon was smiling faintly and looking at Spencer with eyes that did not seem sad anymore. “I remember. And every time you smiled I wished you would never cease. The touch of your hand sent sparks flying through my body and I hoped you would never let go. Yes, I was nervous and even scared on our wedding night but since then…” There Brendon paused and looked down seeming embarrassed. “However, that is when we went to London and…”

“And you began to think of me as a heartless adulterer,” Spencer filled in the rest of the sentence but could not help but to smile a bit, feeling relieved.

Brendon looked up at him again and said. “I do not think that anymore, and I feel I must ask for your forgiveness for thinking such horrid things about you and your poor family.”

“Do not apologise, it was a conclusion easily reached under the circumstances, and I did not help the matter at all with my own behaviour. You have not had time to truly get to know and trust me, as those things take time. I only ask that you give me another chance to do so,” Spencer said, squeezing Brendon’s hands gently.

Brendon squeezed back and smiled widely. Seeing that expression on Brendon’s face again, and directed at him, made Spencer’s heart feel light. Even if he had not even noticed the weight until it was gone.

“Now, now would be a good time for a kiss,” Brendon said, still grinning even as his own boldness made him blush yet again.

Spencer did not need to be told twice and he leaned in to kiss Brendon, letting their lips linger together longer than they had ever before. The touch was still chaste, but Spencer felt there would be time for other, different kisses later. This kiss was about reaffirmation and new beginnings.

~*~

During the following week Spencer had a hard time believing that the relations between him and Brendon were truly mended. He kept waiting for something else to happen, something that would ruin this new and fragile happiness that they had reached. But nothing happened. Brendon remained in high spirits, his mood so infectious that the whole house suddenly seemed much happier, which made Vivian smile approvingly at Spencer, who could not help but to grin back.

Brendon had obviously talked with Ryan at some point for they too seemed on much better terms. Although now Brendon would sometimes blush when he was conversing with Ryan, which to Spencer meant it was time for him to join the other men, as Ryan was obviously saying scandalous things to his spouse just to see him fluster.

If one discounted these small annoyances, though, Spencer could easily proclaim that he had never been happier in his life. He spent almost every waking moment as close to Brendon as he could, just basking in the knowledge that now he could. Brendon did not mind - quite the contrary, in fact; he was now in the habit of linking their hands together if ever there was a chance to do so, and it seemed to Spencer that Brendon’s brightest smiles were all for him.

One afternoon Ryan had dragged Spencer and Brendon with him to Loughton and to ‘Hasting’s Fine Hats and Bonnets’ shop. Spencer had grown bored a quarter of an hour ago and was now amusing himself by making merciless fun of Ryan. Brendon seemed a bit nonplussed but could not keep himself from snickering from time to time when Spencer landed a particularly cutting comment about Ryan and his penchant for feathers in his hats.

“If I were you, Spencer, I would not continue down that road. Do I need to remind you about the last time we visited the cobbler?” Ryan said haughtily from where he was perusing the ribbons used to decorate girls’ bonnets.

This made Spencer clear his throat loudly; there had been no need for Ryan to bring that up. It was only practical for a man to take an interest in his shoes, they were after all used in practicality and not there just for decoration. The matters were entirely different. He was just about to launch into this counter argument when the shop door opened and two men walked in.

“Good afternoon Captain Bryar, Mister Stump. It is nice to see you again,” Brendon chirped happily and went to greet the men. Spencer exchanged a look with Ryan, but the other man just shrugged, so Spencer did not try to usher them out the store. Perhaps Ryan had decided not to hate Mister Stump on principle after all.

To Spencer’s surprise, Mister Stump and Ryan discovered that they shared a common interest in hats and soon they were deep in a discussion on the latest fashions that Spencer was happy to abandon in exchange for Captain Bryar’s company. The three of them ended up talking about dogs, although Captain Bryar tried to profess he was not fond of the creatures even when Spencer knew that to be an outright lie, as he had seen Captain Bryar happily show his affection to both the hounds in Summerlin and the groundskeepers’ dogs at Rosslings. Brendon too offered his opinion that Captain Bryar was surely not a person who could say such a thing with all seriousness. Captain Bryar had to capitulate at that point for Brendon was directing his most formidable pleading gaze at him and Spencer had yet to see a person who could deny Brendon anything when it was used.

“Why would you say such a thing?” Brendon asked, still seeming wounded, for his love for all dogs seemed to know no bounds.

They both spied Captain Bryar’s brief glance towards where Ryan was explaining something, arms waving dangerously close to one hat display and Patrick nodding thoughtfully as he listened.

“But Ryan is very fond of dogs,” Spencer blurted out and then flushed, as it was not his place to betray Captain Bryar’s thoughts on Ryan, even if it was only Brendon who was listening to them.

Brendon’s eyes got wide and surprised. “You have feelings for Ryan?” he whispered rather loudly, making both Spencer and Captain Bryar look around them to make sure no one else had been able to hear them.

“Brendon,” Spencer admonished, giving Captain Bryar and apologetic look.

“I apologise, but I thought Ryan was…” Brendon began, looking confused, but Captain Bryar interrupted him before he could finish. “My feelings are inconsequential and I hope I may trust that none of this will find its way back to Mister Ross.”

Brendon gave his promise to keep silent, but soon after made some excuse and went to join Ryan and Mister Stump.

“He will not say anything,” Spencer assured Captain Bryar as they watched the three men talk about something with the shopkeeper. Ryan already had two hatboxes in his hands and Spencer sighed internally, thinking about the cost.

“I trust your spouse’s word. It is good to see him so gay again. I assume you have made amends.” Captain Bryar changed the subject and Spencer still could not help the wide smile that always seemed to rise to his face when the matter of him and Brendon was mentioned.

Luckily for Spencer, the other men rejoined their company, saving Spencer from an embarrassing scene where he would have sung the praises of his spouse.

“I invited Mister Stump to come visit us tomorrow. That means you must come as well, Captain Bryar,” Brendon explained cheerfully and next to him Mister Stump was looking rather bemused, as if he was not quite sure how he had ended up agreeing with Brendon.

Spencer smiled happily in return to Brendon’s beaming expression and took his hand. “That sounds like a marvellous idea.”

Ryan snorted and said. “You would think rolling in tar and covering yourself in feathers was a marvellous idea if Brendon suggested it right now.”

Spencer and Brendon both flushed at that, but if Spencer was honest with himself he was quite sure Ryan was right.

The two groups said their goodbyes in front of the store and then went their own ways. “I think we will have a great time tomorrow! Mister Stump can play the pianoforte and I can accompany him on the cello. Ryan, do you wish to sing?” Brendon asked, almost skipping down the road towards Summerlin, arm in arm with Spencer.

Now it was Ryan’s turn to appear embarrassed and Spencer explained to Brendon. “Ryan does not sing that much anymore. When we were younger he used to think he had a great voice and none of us had the heart to correct him. But let me just say that once we had some of our distant cousins visiting and one of their children made fun of Ryan’s singing. He has not sung afterwards. It is all very tragic.”

“Surely you could still sing. We are all friends, are we not? And we would never make fun of your voice. I believe it is all about enjoying music and not about who is the most competent technically,” Brendon said earnestly and extended his free hand to pat Ryan on the shoulder.

“Oh God, Spencer, your spouse is so sweet it makes me nauseous,” Ryan complained and tried to duck Brendon’s hand. Spencer just kept grinning, because life was good.

~*~

Having Mister Stump around did not cause any undue tension even when he and Ryan were in each other’s presence. This did surprise Spencer somewhat, but he was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was just glad that the addition of Mister Stump to their social circle had gone over so smoothly. When Mister Stump was around, Captain Bryar was always in a lighter mood and made an effort to engage with them all in conversation. Spencer thought this was the result of Mister Stump’s habit of always turning to Captain Bryar and drawing him in when he was quiet for too long and Captain Bryar’s genuine affection for his cousin that manifested in his actions.

Brendon especially had taken a shine to Mister Stump, as they were both avid admirers of music and all of them spent many happy afternoons in Summerlin, listening to Brendon and Mister Stump play and sing together. It always took some coaxing before Mister Stump would be willing to sing for them, but when he did it was obvious to all of them that he was indeed very gifted in the art. It was also very pleasant to hear him and Brendon harmonize as their voices complimented each other very well. Still, Spencer was willing to swear that Brendon was the more gifted of the two, even if he was perhaps slightly biased in his judgement.

As Mister Stump knew how to play the violin, they had grand concerts in their small sitting room when Brendon played the cello and Ryan took the pianoforte. Spencer and Captain Bryar as well as Spencer’s family acted as an enraptured audience, even if the twins did break into dance if the song was suitable. Sometimes they even managed to persuade Captain Bryar to dance with them and on those occasions all the furniture was moved to the side to make room for dancing. Spencer always sighed long-sufferingly, but actually he did enjoy himself even if Josie kept trying to lead and they ended up stepping on each other’s toes.

To give their musicians a turn on the impromptu dance floor, James took his turn playing the pianoforte and so Spencer had a chance to dance with Brendon as well. Usually they ended up grinning at each other rather helplessly. Still, Spencer noticed that Captain Bryar always asked Ryan to dance and seemed well pleased after their turn was over. Mister Stump seemed to dislike dancing quite a bit but had to give in when Peggy pleaded with him. He was not a poor dancer by any means so Spencer did not know why he was so averse to the amusement. Nonetheless even Mister Stump seemed to be fond of their gatherings as much as the rest of them.

When they were not playing music and making fools of themselves by dancing on their carpeted floors they found other means of entertainment. It became very commonplace for Mister Stump and Captain Bryar to visit Summerlin almost daily, as they became better and better friends.

Captain Bryar had taken up the task of teaching Ryan to play chess, which Spencer had given up as a lost cause when they were still in university. Ryan did not find the game very interesting and had a habit of drifting off into his own thoughts and moving his pieces almost randomly. This had always annoyed Spencer, who had finally declared he would never play a game with him again. So it came as a surprise to him, then, that Ryan was actually paying attention to what Captain Bryar was telling him and showed some considerable improvement in his game.

Brendon and Mister Stump would usually sit by the table where card games were usually played and lean over music sheets. They seemed to be composing something, or perhaps it was more accurate to say Mister Stump was assisting Brendon in his endeavour. As this was the case Spencer found himself often drafted into playing cards with Peggy and Josie, although most games would have required a fourth player. He did not mind the company but did sometimes catch himself staring at Brendon and wishing it would just be the two of them. If his sisters noticed him doing it they would tease him mercilessly about mooning after his spouse and quoting the most romantic poetry they could remember to him until Spencer begged them to stop.

If the weather was fine, they would usually gather outside and play Croquet, as it was a game they could all participate in. Only Josie refused to play, as she was no good at the game and would usually sit and watch them from the sidelines, shouting very poor advice to the person whose turn it was. Only Brendon was foolish enough to listen to her, and as a result usually lost. As an added complication, there was also the matter of Stuart finding Croquet very interesting, and he was always running after the balls after someone had taken their turn hitting their ball, and several times managed to divert the ball from going through the intended hoop, causing many half-serious arguments about whether this was cause enough to grant the player a second chance to hit their ball.

~*~

Waking up to your spouse kissing you was definitely a pleasing way to start one’s day, as far as Spencer was concerned. He made a happy rumbling sound deep in his throat and kissed Brendon back, opening his eyes rather reluctantly when Brendon pulled away slightly. “Good morning,” Spencer said and tried to pull Brendon back to him, but the man resisted, grinning at him happily.

“Morning. I hope you slept well?” Brendon asked, mock serious, but Spencer was hardly paying any attention; as he was riveted by the sight of seeing Brendon sitting there, completely at his ease even though his nakedness was only partially covered by the sheet pooling on his lap.

Spencer’s gaze must have conveyed some of his inner thoughts, as Brendon’s own expression grew more serious and his gaze more heated. “Spencer, do not look at me in that manner, it is hardly the proper time to even entertain such thoughts.” The chastisement would have carried more weight had Brendon not ended his sentence by licking his lips, as his gaze roamed over Spencer’s body.

“I do not think there would be any better time for thoughts such us ours than when we are both in bed together in the privacy of our own chambers,” Spencer countered and made a conscious effort to stretch his body in a manner that made the sheet slip and reveal more of his figure for Brendon’s viewing pleasure. Brendon swallowed visibly and Spencer pressed his advantage by sliding his hand up Brendon’s thigh under the linen.

It was plain to see when Brendon’s resolve crumbled as he let out an aborted moan and lay back down, his body covering most of Spencer’s. Their lips met again, inflaming their mutual desire and Spencer groaned happily as their bodies lined up against one another perfectly.

He almost did not even recollect what Brendon was talking about when he said later, rather breathlessly, “Ryan will tease us mercilessly if we are late for breakfast.”

“I find that I do not care,” Spencer said, and combed his fingers through Brendon’s hair, smiling softly as the man leaned into the touch. “However, I believe you are right that we are in danger of missing breakfast,” He added and pressed a soft kiss to Brendon’s collarbone.

Brendon laughed, the sound bright and happy, and nuzzled Spencer’s temple. “Well then, we should rise from bed. I find that I have acquired quite the appetite from somewhere.”

“It is you who must rise first, as it is not I who is keeping you away from the breakfast table,” Spencer reminded Brendon and let his hands slide down Brendon’s back, causing him to shiver slightly.

Not very surprisingly it took still took them quite a while to make their way downstairs, but luckily there was still some toast and a few scones left even if everything else had already been cleared away.

~*~

In the beginning of August, Spencer had to divert some of his attention from Brendon into helping his parents with the twins, as both Josie and Peggy were becoming more and more nervous about starting university. After all, the girls had never been to boarding school as Spencer had, and had always remained home with tutors. Brendon seemed very curious about the whole thing, admitting to Spencer that he had never really paid any attention to any of his lessons that were not about music. He seemed eager to help Josie and Peggy pack, though, even if Stuart, who was never far from Brendon, managed to cause a stir more than once by grabbing a pair of stockings or socks and once Spencer saw the three of them running down the hall after Stuart, who had a ribbon roll in his teeth and seemed to be relishing this new game he had began with the humans.

Too soon, it was time for the girls to leave for Cambridge and Girton College, accompanied by both their parents as neither could even imagine letting their baby daughters begin a new life without them. Spencer, Brendon and Ryan remained at Summerlin, saying their goodbyes by the door as the girls promised to write if they had any free time.

“It will be so quiet here without them,” Brendon said, as he collapsed on the piano bench, looking rather melancholy.

Spencer walked past him, resting his hand on Brendon’s shoulder for a second and said, as he took a seat by the window, “Yes, I believe it is good that we will be living here for the time being, otherwise, my mother would surely grow bored and lonely when my father has to be in London.”

“I do not know, she told me she is looking forward to having some uninterrupted time to work in her greenhouses. She especially mentioned something about orchids,” Ryan remarked, and took one of the settees in the middle of the room.

They all heard a knock on the door and Spencer tried to see from the window who it was. “Do you suppose they had to come back? But that cannot be the case for why would they knock.” Brendon asked and came to peer over Spencer’s shoulder. The question was answered soon enough when Bennet came in with a letter in her hand and handed it to Ryan. “There was a letter for Mister Ross. The man did not wish to wait to hear if there would be a reply, though,” She said, and let herself out again.

Ryan looked puzzled for a moment, but then his posture stiffened so noticeably that Brendon could not help but to notice it too. He looked at Spencer first, but he did not know anything either and they both turned their attention to Ryan as he read his letter.

“What is it?” Brendon finally could not wait any longer; he looked both curious and worried as they could both see the letter had upset Ryan in some manner.

“Pe—I mean Mister Wentz wanted to let me know he is coming to Loughton to see me. Apparently when he returned from France some of our mutual acquaintances expressed some notions of how they have missed me and now they are all coming here,” Ryan said, and then looked up at Spencer. “What am I supposed to do? Does he just think we will continue on as we did before? Does he think we are still friends?”

Brendon, who in the past few weeks had become as attached to Ryan as he had already been to the rest of Spencer’s family, rushed to him and embraced Ryan in a hug, which seemed to startle Ryan if Spencer went by the expression on his face. If circumstances had been different the situation would have amused Spencer but now he was just angry. “You will write to him, of course, and let him know you no longer wish to be in any contact with him. The gall of that man never ceases to amaze me.” He got to his feet to pace around the room, fuming, but also happy that finally he was able to express his opinion about Mister Wentz openly without worrying about hurting Ryan’s emotions.

“It is not that simple, Spencer,” Ryan protested. “As you well know, I greatly enjoyed the company I kept this year. The Way brothers and their wives have been incredibly kind to me and the letter states they will be coming with Pe--- Mister Wentz.”

“Alright then, but you are not meeting him alone.” Spencer said, coming to a halt and then asked, “Where will they be staying?”

Ryan browsed the letter again and shrugged. “He does not mention. It is not his style to pay attention to the practical aspects of life, but I would guess they will stay at the Inn.”

Spencer would normally have laughed at Ryan criticizing someone else for not being practical, but now he did not find it humorous.

“What about Mister Stump? He is still here, should we write to him in warning? That would not be a happy surprise if he was forced to just meet Mister Wentz on the street,” Brendon asked, reminding Spencer that there were other people in this mess he should worry about.

“Yes, I will write to Mister Stump. Ryan, did Mister Wentz deign to write when he will be arriving, or was that beneath him as well?” Spencer said, and went to the small writing desk under one of the windows.

Ryan, who had finally managed to free himself from Brendon’s clutches, gave Spencer an old look. “There is no need to get snippy with me, Spencer Smith, but yes, he mentions they arrived this morning. I imagine they sent one of their servants here with this letter.”

This made Spencer curse under his breath as he took out a clean sheet of stationary paper and began writing. “That wretched man, no manners at all. We must just hope Mister Stump will be in luck and wont walk into Mister Wentz before he gets this note.”

There was no reply from Mister Stump that evening as they sent two letters into town, one to warn Mister Stump and the other to Mister Wentz, agreeing to meet him and his party the next day. Spencer had insisted Ryan invite them to Summerlin, so as to reduce the chances of people gossiping about the new people in town meeting with them, which would happen if they went and met Mister Wentz and company in the Inn.

“Do you think Ryan is still pining after Mister Wentz?” Brendon asked Spencer, as they were getting ready for bed that night. “Even after all those horrible things he did to poor Mister Stump and then how he lied and deceived Ryan.”

Spencer shook his head and climbed in between the linens, waiting for Brendon to do the same. “I do not think so. What you must know about Ryan by now is that his pride is prickly. There is no way he would even forgive Mister Wentz for making him grow so attached with no intention of staying with him. Ryan was mortified when he realised he had been treated in that manner. What I am worried about is Ryan getting into an altercation with Mister Wentz, so if you notice things starting to become too tense, please think of something to say that would alleviate the situation. I do not wish for this to come to blows,” He said, even as he thought how satisfying it would be to strike that infuriating smirk off Mister Wentz’s face.

“I just wish Ryan would see how much Captain Bryar cares for him, then he could be happy and put this whole affair with Mister Wentz behind him once and for all. And I wish we knew someone suitable for Mister Stump as well. He has not found love again after Mister Wentz, and that was five years ago! It is so sad,” Brendon said, and snuggled closer to Spencer, turning his face up for a kiss. Spencer gave him a few, still marvelling at how amazing it was that Brendon could not do that without even thinking about or without becoming embarrassed.

“I know you mean well, Brendon, but cannot meddle in other peoples romantic affairs, it is not your place or mine, no matter whether we might think we know better what would be good for our friends,” Spencer warned Brendon, but he had already said something similar many times, without any visible effect.

Brendon turned to look at him and scrunched up his nose to show his distaste but it only appeared adorable to Spencer who leaned in a bit to kiss Brendon on the tip of his nose, making him laugh. “That was not a proper kiss! Kiss me properly, Spencer Smith, right this moment,” Brendon demanded, while still grinning widely and Spencer was more than happy to oblige him.

~*~

“Where are they?” Ryan asked for the fourth time that day and walked to the window again, as if he could summon their expected guests merely by staring at the driveway long enough. Brendon, who was playing something slow and soothing on the pianoforte, directed a look at Spencer who sighed and went to stand by Ryan, laying a hand on his friends back.

“Come sit, they will come when they will. You are going to give yourself a headache with all this worrying,” Spencer said, but right then a fine carriage appeared around the bend, making Ryan stiffen even more.

“How do I look?” Ryan asked Spencer but did not wait for an answer before he rushed to the small mirror on the wall to fuss with his hair.

It seemed to take forever for the guests to be shown into the room as Spencer, Ryan and Brendon sat waiting but then the door opened and Mister Wentz walked in as if he owned the place, grin as wide and annoying as ever. What drew Spencer short though was that Mister Wentz was carrying a child in his arms, a small boy, perhaps four years old. So surprised was he by this that he did not even register that the Ways and their wives had followed Mister Wentz inside and were now looking around themselves curiously. “Uh, welcome to Summerlin. Please be seated,” Spencer finally managed to say and gestured towards the settees.

Mister Wentz took a seat closest to Ryan and said. “It has been a while, Ryan. Let me introduce you to my son Bastien. I never got the chance to introduce you two before now. He has been in the Riviera with his mother all year and only now I was able to pry him from her.” He was grinning and tickled the small boy, making him shriek happily and try to squirm away.

The whole situation was so far from what Spencer had imagined, he now was completely at a loss for what to say. Any show of hostility would be out of the question with a small child like that in their midst. Fortunately, Brendon came to his aid by going to the boy and kneeling on the floor with a smile. “Hello Bastien, would you like a biscuit?”

The mention of biscuits also attracted Stuart, who came sniffling hopefully. “Dog!” The boy exclaimed and started petting Stuart, to the dog’s great delight, which made both Mister Wentz and Brendon laugh.

It was hard to keep the up sombre airs when Bastien and Stuart - with Brendon’s willing help - were running around the room, immersed in a complicated game of tag, or perhaps fetch, it was hard to tell. The older Mister Way had taken out a sketchpad and was trying to draw either Bastien or Stuart; Spencer was not sitting at a right angle to see.

The Younger Mister Way, his wife Alicia and the other Mrs. Way had all gathered around Ryan and were obviously happy to see him again. Mister Wentz’s attention seemed equally divided between his friends and his son and in that moment it became hard for Spencer to truly detest the man. For what would have become of his son had he not married the woman he had impregnated?

When the tea was served, Bastien climbed to sit on Brendon’s lap and demanded biscuits with a slightly accented English that Spencer had already noticed earlier. It seemed that the boy did not get to speak English much, as he would sometimes say words in French and then look at his father to translate. He was a handsome child, head covered in fair curls, which made Spencer wonder what the mother looked like, as there was not much resemblance between the child and his father.

They were all still making polite conversation and even Mister Way had put away his sketchpad, now leaving dark smudges to the china that made Spencer cringe and hope the man would not touch the furniture with his dirty hands. So it was rather fitting that right when Spencer had started to relax, thinking that things had not actually turned out so badly the door to the hall opened again and Bennet came in followed by Captain Bryar and Mister Stump.

For a moment everyone in the room froze and then Mister Wentz sprang up from his seat and took a few steps closer to Mister Stump. “Patrick,” He said, that one word so weighted with so many emotions Spencer could not interpret any of them.

Mister Stump looked pale and shocked, making Spencer curse himself for not mentioning that they had invited Mister Wentz to visit today.

“Papa, what is it?” Bastien asked, squirming in Brendon’s lap, trying to get down. This seemed to break the tension in the room as suddenly everyone was speaking all at once.

Spencer did not miss the way Mister Stump stared at Bastien though, looking so startled to find him there. Then suddenly he just turned on his heels and walked out without saying anything to anyone. Mister Wentz made a broken sound and tried to follow him only to have Captain Bryar grab him by the arm and almost growl at his face. “You will not speak with him, do you hear me, Peter? You have caused enough harm and I will not stand for more. All these years, he has mourned and pined after you. He gave up on composing because of you. This is the first year he has agreed to come and join his family in London for the season. He was just beginning to rebuild his life from the fragments you left behind, I will not allow you to hurt him anymore.”

Mister Wentz was still staring at the open door and for a moment Spencer thought he had not even heard what Captain Bryar had said but then he answered. “I never wanted to hurt him, never! But he has to know I never stopped loving him and never will. I would do anything to get him back.”

Captain Bryar’s grip seemed to tighten around Mister Wentz’ arm and it had to be very painful but the man showed nothing on his face. “You cannot have him back, Wentz, it was you who left him, you chose someone over him. Married someone else. Now you have to lie in the bed you made for yourself and leave Patrick alone.”

“Let go of Papa!” Bastien had obviously escaped Brendon, and was now kicking Captain Bryar on the shin, looking very angry but also scared. Captain Bryar seemed only now to notice the child and did loosen his grip as Mister Wentz turned to his son and lifted him into his arms, the small boy hugging Mister Wentz tightly.

Everyone else in the room seemed frozen in place, as if they were an audience to a play or a spectacle. Brendon moved to stand next to Spencer and whispered, “I had to let him go, I was afraid of hurting him otherwise, he was squirming so violently.” And Spencer wrapped his arm around Brendon’s shoulders trying to wordlessly say that he did not think any of this was Brendon’s fault.

“Come now, little man, there is nothing wrong. No need to be scared,” Mister Wentz promised his son and then looked at Mrs. Way. “Please could you take Bastien and perhaps go to the kitchen and ask if they have some milk for him?”

Mrs. Way smiled and led the boy out of the room. Spencer wished he had an excuse to leave as well, and he was worried about Mister Stump. Where had the man gone? Then it occurred to him to check how Ryan was handling all of this and to his surprise Ryan was still sitting on his seat and was sipping tea, as if such scenes were everyday in their lives. “Brendon, can you go out and see if you can find Mister Stump? I think he might like some company. Please apologise to him as well, for I was foolish not to mention our plans for today in the letter,” Spencer whispered to Brendon, who nodded and left the room.

“I cannot believe how selfish you are, Peter. It should not surprise me anymore, but here we are again. Did you even think that your actions today have hurt not only Patrick but also Mister Ross?” Captain Bryar continued even though his voice sounded more tired than angry now.

This actually seemed to stop Mister Wentz short as he turned to look at Ryan with an air of bewilderment Spencer could not believe was disingenuous. “What do you mean to say?” He asked, looking from Ryan to Captain Bryar.

“It is nothing Captain Bryar should be worrying about, and neither should you Mister Wentz.” Ryan said, still seeming so unaffected but Spencer could not believe what he was hearing. Here was the perfect opportunity for Ryan to speak his mind, as things were already past the point where they had to worry about proper behaviour, but Ryan was not taking it. Was he so intent on preserving his pride?

Still, it seemed for the best for him to step up now, so Spencer said to the room at large. “I think it would be best if we break up this gathering. Perhaps too much has already been said.”

The other guests demurred and began to take their leave, but Captain Bryar and Mister Wentz were still staring at each other with hostility. “I am warning you, Wentz, stay away from Patrick,” Captain Bryar said threateningly, but let the other man pass him and walk out the door. Spencer followed all of them into the hall where they had to wait in uncomfortable silence as Mrs. Way and Bastian were fetched from the kitchen.

Wentz’ party said their farewells to Ryan in particular, making sure to extract promises from him to come and see them as soon as he came back to London, and then they climbed into their carriage. Mister Wentz had spent the whole time clutching his son’s hand and looking around himself frantically, obviously trying to spot Mister Stump. The disappointment was evident on his face as the carriage jerked into movement and they drove off without a glimpse of the man.

Captain Bryar turned to glare at Spencer as soon as the carriage had disappeared from view.

“What the devil where you thinking? Why did you not mention this in your letter? Patrick was so distracted by the news I only thought perhaps your company would take his mind off things, and what do we find here?”

Spencer could not protest Captain Bryar’s words, for he blamed himself just as much as Captain Bryar did, so it was a surprise to have Ryan step between them and say. “This was not Spencer’s fault and you know it. He could not have known you would come here, none us of thought of it and we were all there when Spencer wrote that note.”

“And you! How could you let him get away with his inconsiderate behaviour? It was as if he did not know how his actions affected, seeing him try to go after Patrick, right in front of you. Such disregard for your emotions,” Captain Bryar continued, not transferring his anger towards Ryan.

Again Ryan surprised Spencer by flashing a brief smile, even if it was self-deprecating. “Getting to know Patrick has made me re-evaluate my own experiences in a different light. I had no right to feel so betrayed and hurt in the first place.”

Ryan lifted a hand to stop Captain Bryar from interrupting and continued. “No, let me finish. Mister Wentz never made any promises to me; he never said he loved me or that he intended to marry me. We were close, yes, but I now see that what I took as deep affection and great passion never were anything the like. Even my own professed feelings seem pale and frivolous in hindsight. I believe I was more in love with the idea of being in love. I felt exhilarated with the forbidden nature of our affair, relished it, even. In short, I was a fool and when Mister Wentz went back to France, I think it was not so much my heart that was bruised but my ego and my pride.”

Spencer thought that sounded likely but wondered why Ryan had not discussed any of this with him, but did not say anything out loud.

Captain Bryar appeared to be studying Ryan’s face but finally relaxed his posture and even smiled faintly. “Very well. I must say it is a relief to hear you say that, as it has been very hard for me to live with Patrick’s grief and pain all these years and I did not wish the same fate for you. Let me apologise again for interfering in your affairs even when you have already once told me not to.”

“And I am sorry for snapping at you about it then. It is clear to me now that you only acted in that manner because you cared,” Ryan said and touched Captain Bryar’s arm momentarily. This caused Spencer to raise his eyebrows in surprise, for Ryan was not a person who casually initiated physical contact with anyone who was not closely related to Spencer.

Before anything else could be said, Brendon and Mister Stump appeared around the corner and walked across the lawn to join them. Brendon had his arm linked with Mister Stump who looked more like himself again. Still, Spencer felt the need to apologise but bit his lip, for perhaps it was best not to even mention Mister Wentz’s existence in Mister Stump’s presence. “I think this afternoon has been slightly too eventful for me, and I’d like to return home now.” Mister Stump said, and Captain Bryar hastened to agree with him.

“Hopefully we will see you soon,” Spencer said lamely, and he and Brendon watched as Captain Bryar and Mister Stump started walking along the driveway. Ryan had already returned inside.

“Oh dear, could this day have gone worse?” He said and turned to hug Brendon, who squeezed him back just as tightly.

Brendon muttered something into Spencer’s neck and he had to ask Brendon to repeat himself. “I think seeing Bastian was the worst part for Mister Stump. He was so discomfited and I think he wanted to cry. It was so horrible and I did not know what to say to make him feel better.”

“I do not think anything you could have said would have made him feel better. Do not be too hard on yourself,” Spencer comforted Brendon as they walked inside.

~*~

Ryan did go to see Mister Wentz and his friends in the Inn the next day and came back reporting that the group would return to London the next day. He also said Mister Wentz had seemed depressed and had talked about going back to France again.

The knowledge that Mister Wentz was leaving did not seem to ease Mister Stump’s mind and soon he had talked his parents into returning to Bath. Brendon who had become close friends with him actually cried when they had to say goodbye and made Mister Stump swear he would write and that they would meet again as soon as possible.

Spencer felt rather relieved when everything seemed to go back to normal, especially when his parents returned from Cambridge and they all returned to their routines.

The lease on Rosslings would soon expire and Captain Bryar had not said anything about renewing it, which was rather worrying. So one afternoon when they were yet again out riding together he approached the subject and was surprised to hear the answer.

“I am well enough to return to my regiment. As I am not yet thirty I have many years left when I am still fit to serve in her majesties army. It is a way for me to earn some money as well, as I would like to own my own house in the future. And it is apparent to me that Mister Ross will not return my feelings, so I believe it is best for me not to linger here. In a few years, if I return I will surely have put this all past me.”

There were no placating words Spencer wished to offer so he just nodded. “Perhaps you are right. I wish you well and hope you will return safely.”

After they parted ways and Spencer returned home he told Ryan and Brendon the news about Captain Bryar’s re-entry into the military. Brendon’s eyes grew huge and he said. “He is truly going?”

“Yes, I am afraid so,” Spencer answered and went to sit next to Brendon, linking their hands as soon as he was sitting.

Ryan was frowning and after a moment of silence asked. “But is it not very dangerous? He was wounded when we first met him. Why would he wish to go back?”

“He has to make his own fortune somehow, Ryan. We cannot all inherit estates, as you well know,” Spencer said and held back the more personal reason Captain Bryar had.

“And you broke his heart, you silly goose!” Brendon blurted out and made Spencer wish to hide his face in his hands. So much for being discreet.

“What?” Ryan demanded, looking baffled.

Brendon leaned forwards and looking very earnest said. “He has been in love with you from the first moment you met! And I was not even here then and I know. Well, Peggy told me, but I trust her opinion on these matters. He even tried to tell me he did not like dogs because he thought you did not like them!” this last was offered as if it was the paramount piece of information that should convince Ryan.

Ryan turned to look at Spencer and his expression asked ‘is he serious?’ Spencer let out a long breath and nodded. There was no point in hiding it anymore, as Brendon would surely not stop talking about the subject. It seemed that he did owe Captain Bryar an apology as he had assured the man that Brendon would not betray his trust.

“How could that be? He has never said anything to indicate his interest. I thought he did not much care for my company at all,” Ryan said, still seeming rather sceptical.

“It is not as if he would express his interest when you have in every turn made it clear to him you are not interested,” Brendon explained rather impatiently. “Most of the time you have known each other you were either involved with Mister Wentz or moaning about him. The man has his pride, same as you.”

“I need to get some air,” Ryan announced all of a sudden and got up, leaving Spencer and Brendon alone in the drawing room.

Brendon beamed at Spencer but his smiled dimmed a bit when he saw Spencer’s displeased expression. “What? I was just trying to help.” He protested.

“You promised Captain Bryar you would not speak of this to Ryan and now you have gone back on your word,” Spencer reminded him and Brendon did look a bit guilty before he rallied.

“I am sure he will forgive me if this makes Ryan finally realise what he is about to lose for forever.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “That is hardly what is likely to happen. Captain Bryar would return to Loughton eventually.”

“Yes, but what if he met someone else in India, or wherever he will be sent next? And what if he came back married and Ryan would only then realise what a huge mistake he had made all those years ago! You do not want that, now, do you, Spencer Smith?” Brendon said and grinned, unrepentant.

“Things like that do not happen in real life,” Spencer tried to say but was overruled by Brendon. “Yes they do! Just look at what has happened this year alone and just to us. The world is full of sad love stories, I am sure of it, and I do not wish Ryan to star in one. After all, it is all thanks to him that we got our happy ending.”

Brendon looked so earnest and happy as he leaned in and kissed Spencer that he really did not have the heart to continue arguing about the topic. Besides, his time was much more wisely spent kissing his spouse instead of quibbling with him.

~*~

A few days later Ryan came into the office where Spencer was trying to look at some reports his father had brought with him from London.

“How did it feel when you fell in love with Brendon?” Ryan demanded to know as soon as the door was closed. “You were always the one who said love and romance are not important and talked about being practical and all that nonsense. Well, I tried love my own way and it was an utter failure and now I want to know your secret to success.”

Spencer frowned at Ryan. “What on earth are you talking about?”

Ryan harrumphed impatiently. “I need to understand how it is supposed to work? How do you and Captain Bryar work? I have thought about it, and I feel that I am much more similar to Brendon than I am to you, and that you and Captain Bryar are also very similar. So how does your love work?”

“Are you saying that…” Spencer scratched his head trying to follow Ryan’s logic. “Does this mean you return Captain Bryar’s feelings?”

“Well, that is what I am trying to find out. I have been thinking and I do not like the idea of Captain Bryar leaving and possibly getting killed in some far away country. I enjoy his company much more than I thought I would, but that might be just because he reminds me of you quite often. I do think he is handsome, even if he is nothing like my usual type. I like the fact that he is so loyal to his friends and family. And Brendon has been talking my ear off about how he will return with an exotic wife if I do not act now and I am not fond of the idea of him marrying someone,” Ryan listed off and then paused, looking at Spencer accusingly.

“This is all your fault somehow. I have spent so many years believing that love would be like a bolt of lightening from the sky. Impossible to miss and confuse with something else. But you always insisted what I was describing was only lust and now I think you may have been right, but that leaves me with a conundrum, as I no longer know what I should be looking for. So that brings me back to the original question: how does your love work?”

Spencer pondered about this for a moment, while Ryan sighed impatiently and tapped his foot on the carpet. A part of him wanted to drag this out and tease his friend, but as Brendon had pointed out it was all thanks to Ryan that he was now so happy with Brendon, so it was not fair of him to mock his friend now.

“I think what my love and Captain Bryar’s love have in common most is that we would do anything in our power to make the person we love happy. However, I do not believe you have to have the same kind of love to ours. I do not believe you should have that kind of love in this situation as it would make you let him go and allow him to find happiness with someone else. Perhaps it is enough for you to ask yourself if you could let him try and make you happy, letting him share your life. I know these things are more than enough for me. That I know Brendon lets me do that for him and with him”

Ryan did not look satisfied. “That does not sound like much. How can you be happy with that, Spencer?”

“I do not know how to explain it to you any better than that. Perhaps you should ask Brendon about this instead of me. Ask him how he loves me. But mostly, I think that you have to find the answer from your own heart. As you said you do not wish for him to go, but would you get over it with time? And if he returned with a spouse, could you be friends with them?”

None of this seemed to be helpful to Ryan who shook his head and stormed out without another word. Spencer shook his head and went back to reading the report about the railway extension their company was working on in America.

~*~

The next week Spencer had to go to London with his father and when he returned Brendon almost ambushed him in the hallway. “Captain Bryar is here and he is having a private conversation with Ryan. Do you think Ryan is proposing?”

Spencer took off his hat that Brendon’s enthusiastic greeting had pushed crooked and looked at the closed door that led to the sitting room. “Why would you think he is proposing all of a sudden?”

Brendon did not fake innocence well as it made him look rather manic. “Uh, no reason. It is not as if I have been eavesdropping or anything of the sort.”

“At this point, I just wish we could have some closure. Ryan is becoming the bane of my whole existence and I just wish for some peace and quiet. Want to run away with me?” He asked Brendon and pulled the man into a brief kiss, aware that someone might walk into the room at any given moment.

“Well, you do owe me a honeymoon, but Spencer, concentrate now! You are being a very bad friend for not caring about his plight,” Brendon said, obviously trying not to laugh.

The door to the sitting room opened and Ryan came out looking rather cross. “You know that we could hear you through the door.”

Captain Bryar followed Ryan and appeared slightly flustered, which made Spencer exchange a pointed look with Ryan, who then started to look smug.

Brendon caught the expression and started to almost vibrate where he stood. “Do you have an announcement to make?” he asked eagerly.

“I suppose you might as well know, that Robert has agreed to marry me.” Ryan said, in his toneless voice, but Spencer could see he was well pleased.

Captain Bryar did cringe, though. “I hate being called Robert. Call me Bob, please.”

“That is not a proper name! I like Robert,” Ryan said, seeming surprised and turned to look at his fiancé.

“I think this is our cue to leave,” Spencer whispered to Brendon and pulled him along the corridor and out the backdoor into the garden. “We might as well go inform my mother so that she may instruct the cook to prepare a festive dinner for us all.”

Brendon was skipping; there was no denying it as he moved alongside Spencer, holding on to his arm like a limpet. “You owe me an apology, Spencer Smith. You doubted my prowess as a matchmaker and here we are, less than two months from when I began and we have an engagement.”

“Truly, your talent in this area is unmatched,” Spencer said rather dryly, but it only made Brendon grin more widely.

"Indeed. Next I shall help Mister Stump find his true love, and then all our friends will be happily settled. Would that not be splendid?" Brendon asked, looking very earnest, so Spencer did not have the heart to argue about the virtue in minding ones own business.

Instead he just said, "It would certainly be very pleasant to see all our friends happy, but let us worry about today's engagement dinner first." However, Spencer could not be certain Brendon had heard him, as Brendon had grown tired of their sedate pace and had dashed ahead, Stuart barking and running around his legs. ;

Spencer followed Brendon into the greenhouse, where he could hear his mother and Brendon conversing in excited tones and Spencer smiled contentedly, as he moved to join them.

~*~

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