![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oanjaI'm reading an interesting book called 'The Will to Change - men, masculinity, and love' where the author talks about partiarchy and how that has shaped men and how they are allowed to feel or express their feeling. (or to put it in other words; how they aren't allowed to do any of that) I think I will write more about this once I finish reading it but she quoted another book and I really wanted to write it down.
Attention to the meaning of the central male slang term for sexual intercourse- "fuck" -is instructive. To fuck a woman is to have sex with her. To fuck someone in another context... means to hurt or cheat a person. And when hurled as a simple insult ("fuck you") the intent is denigration and the remark is often a prelude to violence or the threat of violence. Sex in patriarchy is fucking. That we live in a world in which people continue to use the same word for sex and violence, and then resist the notion that sex is routinely violent and claim to be outraged when sex becomes overtly violent, is a testament to the power of patriarchy.
-Robert Jensen
And now that I'm sort of talking about sex I might as well mention something else that has been bothering me. I was thinking about the Harry Potter books and how they are meant to be read by kids. Not necessarily very young kids but kids none the less. In the HP books a lot of people die in pretty horrible ways, people get injured because someone wanted to hurt them physically, people are tortured. Violence is not presented as something entirely bad though, in some cases it is the right thing to do (as in when fighting evil) Nobody curses in HP books and nobody has sex in them either ("on screen") Why is it okay to have murder and torture in a kids book but not sex or even cursing?
- Kids might imitate the way the characters speak and start cursing. Eh? But they don't start torturing and killing people when they read about it.
- Kids might start having sex. Um... Like they wont do that in any case. Shouldn't there be examples in books for teenagers to see what a loving relationship is like sex included. I think it would give them a much better example than watching porn online, or hearing sex clinically explained in sex ed.
Why is sex such a taboo in books and on TV/movies? Why don't we even blink when we see a character get killed on screen but if there is a sex scene it can cause an outrage, (especially if children might see). How does that work? Even showing a character naked is a big deal. Sex is supposed to be a natural part of being human, it's even considered a good thing in general and yet we aren't allowed to see it. I get that it's supposed to be personal and private but at the same time I want to ask 'why is it so private?' Isn't torturing and murdering people sort of personal and private too? What makes it okay to see one but not the other?
(Then again, sex scenes make me personally uncomfortable if I see one in a movie etc. However, I have watched porn, where seeing people have sex is the whole point and that didn't bother me. Have I just been socialized to see sex in the media as a bad thing? Also this aversion I have only extends to seeing heterosexual couples having sex. I watched the L word and the sex scenes didn't bother me and neither have the ones I've seen in gay movies or shows like Queer as Folk. This makes me think it's just something personal in my own case. And this whole paragraph isn't really making any sense so I'll just stop now...)
I generally think there is too much sex on tv/movies and I don't like how they usually depict women. So does that make me a hypocrite? Especially when I don't feel that way about violence in the same context. I don't like horror movies or scenes where someone is tortured (particularly if they do something to the persons hands or teeth) but in shows like CSI or other crime shows I pretty much like watching people get killed/murdered. And how messed up is that when you actually write it down... Some of my favourite characters in movies and TV are murderers/torturers or they have at least assaulted someone. If they were real I'd never want to get closer than a hundred meters of them. Double standars much...
Waah~ I can't express myself the way I want to! *flails* But if any of this made any kind of sense to you or if you wanna tell me how you feel about the topic(s) I'd love to hear it! \0/
P.s. Livejournal spell check doesn't think patriarchy is a word. Are we being oppressed? Or am I writing the word wrong? There are always more questions than there are answers. *nod nod*
~*~
Also completely off topic but I had a nose bleed today... So weird. O_o
And! I'm going to see Sherlock Holmes tomorrow! woot!
edit: lol someone posted a secret on![[info]](https://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
fandomsecrets that was about the same thing as my last post, (the whole objectifying men thing. =D)
Attention to the meaning of the central male slang term for sexual intercourse- "fuck" -is instructive. To fuck a woman is to have sex with her. To fuck someone in another context... means to hurt or cheat a person. And when hurled as a simple insult ("fuck you") the intent is denigration and the remark is often a prelude to violence or the threat of violence. Sex in patriarchy is fucking. That we live in a world in which people continue to use the same word for sex and violence, and then resist the notion that sex is routinely violent and claim to be outraged when sex becomes overtly violent, is a testament to the power of patriarchy.
-Robert Jensen
And now that I'm sort of talking about sex I might as well mention something else that has been bothering me. I was thinking about the Harry Potter books and how they are meant to be read by kids. Not necessarily very young kids but kids none the less. In the HP books a lot of people die in pretty horrible ways, people get injured because someone wanted to hurt them physically, people are tortured. Violence is not presented as something entirely bad though, in some cases it is the right thing to do (as in when fighting evil) Nobody curses in HP books and nobody has sex in them either ("on screen") Why is it okay to have murder and torture in a kids book but not sex or even cursing?
- Kids might imitate the way the characters speak and start cursing. Eh? But they don't start torturing and killing people when they read about it.
- Kids might start having sex. Um... Like they wont do that in any case. Shouldn't there be examples in books for teenagers to see what a loving relationship is like sex included. I think it would give them a much better example than watching porn online, or hearing sex clinically explained in sex ed.
Why is sex such a taboo in books and on TV/movies? Why don't we even blink when we see a character get killed on screen but if there is a sex scene it can cause an outrage, (especially if children might see). How does that work? Even showing a character naked is a big deal. Sex is supposed to be a natural part of being human, it's even considered a good thing in general and yet we aren't allowed to see it. I get that it's supposed to be personal and private but at the same time I want to ask 'why is it so private?' Isn't torturing and murdering people sort of personal and private too? What makes it okay to see one but not the other?
(Then again, sex scenes make me personally uncomfortable if I see one in a movie etc. However, I have watched porn, where seeing people have sex is the whole point and that didn't bother me. Have I just been socialized to see sex in the media as a bad thing? Also this aversion I have only extends to seeing heterosexual couples having sex. I watched the L word and the sex scenes didn't bother me and neither have the ones I've seen in gay movies or shows like Queer as Folk. This makes me think it's just something personal in my own case. And this whole paragraph isn't really making any sense so I'll just stop now...)
I generally think there is too much sex on tv/movies and I don't like how they usually depict women. So does that make me a hypocrite? Especially when I don't feel that way about violence in the same context. I don't like horror movies or scenes where someone is tortured (particularly if they do something to the persons hands or teeth) but in shows like CSI or other crime shows I pretty much like watching people get killed/murdered. And how messed up is that when you actually write it down... Some of my favourite characters in movies and TV are murderers/torturers or they have at least assaulted someone. If they were real I'd never want to get closer than a hundred meters of them. Double standars much...
Waah~ I can't express myself the way I want to! *flails* But if any of this made any kind of sense to you or if you wanna tell me how you feel about the topic(s) I'd love to hear it! \0/
P.s. Livejournal spell check doesn't think patriarchy is a word. Are we being oppressed? Or am I writing the word wrong? There are always more questions than there are answers. *nod nod*
~*~
Also completely off topic but I had a nose bleed today... So weird. O_o
And! I'm going to see Sherlock Holmes tomorrow! woot!
edit: lol someone posted a secret on
fandomsecrets that was about the same thing as my last post, (the whole objectifying men thing. =D)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-23 10:59 pm (UTC)BUT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HAVE FUN! :DDDDDD i don't get to see the movie until next month but ugh i can't wait. :DDDDDDD
(if you're interested in the holmes/watson fandom here's
no subject
Date: 2010-01-25 12:42 am (UTC)It was really fun and entertaining, not to mention how slashy it was... (which in my books = a very good thing) I was already getting really impatient because it came out ages ago in the States, so it was about time it got here. *grumble grumble* Also, thanks a lot for the hint, of course I had to join it as soon as I got back from the theatre. =D
no subject
Date: 2010-01-25 11:14 am (UTC)yeah it came out here december 25th too but i didn't have time to go see it until like mid january, and then i just failed at it. and now i have no monies so i have to wait until next month :P (a week! eeeh!)
the comm is full of pretty art :D i haven't checked the fics out much because i haven't seen the movie (but i am reading the books) but the art mmmmhhh ♥