oanja

Yuletide letter

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 09:06:11 GMT

Dear Yuletide writer, I hope something in my letter prompts your imagination and you have an easy time writing a story for me. :)

Yuletide treats are also welcome

General likes and dislikes:
I would prefer the story to have a romantic/sexual relationship between the characters I asked for

All ratings are fine, I love some smut in fics, but obviously it's not mandatory. When it comes to kink fics I'm more into D/s than S/M

I don't mind appearances from other canon characters, so if you want to include people outside of the ones I specifically picked, that's okay. (but please keep the main attention/pov on the characters I requested)

Things/tropes that I don't like: animal harm, wing-fic, mundane AU's (like coffee shop AU), unhappy endings --> major character death (but angst is fine)

Tropes I especially like: canon fics, trope inversion in general but especially in A/B/O (alpha/alpha is dear to me for example), friends-to-lovers, pining, world building, arranged marriage/fake dating, kidfic, historical AUs, fantasy or scifi settings, characters put into tough situations where they have to rely on each other, oblivious characters

Porn/explicit fic preferences:
Likes: edging, overstimulation, coming dry/untouched, desperation, multiple orgasms (even if it's unrealistic irl) begging, 'it won't fit --> I'll make it fit', breeding kink, spanking, sex pollen/aphrodisiac, tops being kind of pathetic/desperate, dirty talk (praise, teasing, being a little mean), semi-public sex or the risk of getting caught, bottoms being possessive, using sex toys esp. plugs, anal-beads. somnophilia, fighting to see who tops (especially alpha/alpha), wet dreams

DNW/squicks: piss/scat/puke, knife play/blood, heavy sadism/masochism, choking

Then to my requests (wish list):

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) Edgin and Xenk

- I'm pretty easy when it comes to these two. I'd definitely prefer a Edgin/Xenk story tbh
- I think 'undercover as a couple' for a mission could be fun, or any other fake dating trope
- Any get together fics would be welcome
- 'magic/spell/potion/bad guys' made them do it

千秋 - 梦溪石 | Thousand Autumns - Mèng Xī Shí, Yan Wushi, Shen Qiao

- Yan Wushi is a menace, but it would be fun to read a role reversal fic where Shen Qiao has the upper hand for once :P
- 'magic/spell/potion/qi deviation/amnesia made them do it
- I'd prefer a story set during canon instead of during the extras. I'm especially curious about exploring the time when Yan Wushi's personality was fractured, bc I think it has a lot of fic potential (especially if Shen Qiao hadn't been such a goody-two-shoes good boy)
- A fic where Shen Qiao realizes that he actually can influence/has power over Yan Wushu and uses it somehow (make him behave for once or whatever, can be used for humor or seriously or for sex)

カラオケ行こ！ | Karaoke Iko! | Let's Go Karaoke! (Anime) Oka Satomi, Narita Kyouji

- I just watched the anime this week and the show made me laugh out loud multiple times :D what a fun show
- However I'd also love some angst/pining for this
- For example what did Kyouji spend his time in prison thinking about (hint it's Satomi) or how/when did Satomi realize his feelings for Kyouji during the time skip?
-What happens in Tokyo after the anime ends?
- Pretending to be a couple so Kyouji can protect Satomi from dangerous Yakuza
-If you write smut I'd prefer service top Kyouji or botton Kyouji, who get's off on Satomi being a little mean to him. It would also be fun if Satomi was the more experienced one when it came to m/m sex.

魔尊也想知道 - 青色羽翼 | Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know - Cyan Wings, Wenren É, Yin Hanjiang

- tbh I just want Wenren É to get mercilessly railed by his yandere underling and being all wtf wtf wtf the whole time, refusing to admit how much he's enjoying it.
-if you don't want to write explicit fic I still kind of want that dynamic if you know what I mean? :D Wenren É getting pampered or courted by Yin Hanjiang etc and being in complete denial about the whole thing

- I feel silly putting this in almost all prompts, but it fits here too 'magic/spell/potion/qi deviation/amnesia made them do it

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Welp, it's been a while

Sat, 16 Jul 2022 16:02:55 GMT

Since I posted last, I've moved, started a new job and bought a house... :D So I guess I'm finally forced to settle down, at least for a while, now that I have and mortgage. Feels a bit weird tbh. I moved in right at the end of February and it's been okay. Obviously with me buying a place alone, meant I didn't have a big budget and the house I have is from -65 and there's quite a lot of update renovation it's gonna need. I've already had plumbing redone and there's other stuff I either need to have fixed/updated or want to have updated.

Leia (my dog) has definitely enjoyed the change, she's a lot less stressed and doesn't seem to get anxious while I'm at work. My new job also lets me work from home 1-2 days per week, so that's also nice.

I started the brief-therapy studies and the courses end in December this year. I'll have to see how much I can use it in my current job and if I want to try to offer the service separately for clients. It seems like a lot of work to set up a 'company' and take care of taxes etc, so I'll see how it goes next year. It's definitely super interesting though and it's made me feel more sure about wanting to become a psychotherapist. I just hope they would change how expensive it is to study to become one. There are people saying we need reform for the process as there's too few therapists currently and a lot of people are also gonna retire in the next ten years. I hope the change will happen in the next 2-5 years, so I could actually afford to become one. :')

Hobby-vise:

I'm still playing d&d, my Tuesday group I started with is still going strong with me DMing and I've been playing with another group on Sundays for over a year and a half now (when I started with them, they were doing Avernus, then we did Strahd and are now doing the feywild campaign), and I've also GMed a few games in the legend of the five rings system, which is fun as well! I'm also gonna make my tuesday group try pathfinder 2E next, because I want to try new systems.

bts are on a hiatus now, which hit me harder than I thought it would (I really wanted to see them live) but I did end up writing quite a bit of fic in the fandom, which was nice. I've also never spent this much money while in fandom... the need to hoard stuff like dvd's and CD's was strong! I'm glad I never got into the photo card collecting thing. :D

I also wrote 2 fics for the Chinese BL show 'Word of Honor'. I don't really have a current fandom I feel super strongly about.

I also started to play FFXIV almost exactly a year ago and have had a ton of fun with it. I really wish I had found this game earlier, it has all the stuff in it that I wished WOW would have had (I could never get into wow, even though I played it for years) ffxiv has a lot of casual content to do, which is perfect for me. <3

I also knitted a whole ass sweater this year. :D if someone would have told me I'd voluntarily do that 10 years ago I would have laughed so hard. I also have the yarn for the next sweater ready to go for next winter, as I only want to knit when it's cold outside.

I really want to go abroad, now that it's finally allowed again after covid, but I really really wanna go to Japan but it's so hard and expensive currently. Hopefully I can do it next year. *fingers crossed* I was thinking that going to Greece would be fun this year. I've been to Crete when I was 11, but never to somewhere like Athens. Then it would be fun to just go to the UK, but I might have to do that next year too bc I'd like to go when it's warm (I'd wanna visit some new places, like Bath or York or go to Edinburgh again)

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It's been a while (dusts off the journal)

Thu, 01 Apr 2021 08:46:27 GMT

Whew... more than a year since I posted. I guess my covid response included never coming to dreamwidth for some reason... Not that the pandemic isn't still happening, but still, maybe I'm back. :D

What happened last year?

Real life:
Not much tbh, the schools were closed for a few months in the spring so we all worked remotely. During the summer I had a nice 3 week vacation and didn't really do much of anything, then in the fall one of our psychologists quit and we haven't been able to hire a new one all year, which has added more work to my plate... But if I'm still at this job in August that will make it 2 years, the longest time I've stayed in one job, pretty good for me.

I'm gonna go visit mom for Easter, going today and staying for a few nights.

I really miss just traveling somewhere :( Maybe 2022? I really want to go to Japan, waah~ Also before covid struck I was planning a trip to Athens, so that's also on the itinerary still *sigh* I have been saving money for a trip all year, but I dunno, I might use most of it for this short therapy -therapist course

Fandom wise:
I've been enjoying kpop; mostly bts since December 2019 and am still going strong :D (my poor wallet, kpop fandom is so good at coming up with stuff I want to buy). I've also been playing d&d still, so it's been a bit over 2 years now(?)

I've also slowly been getting into Cdramas and Danmei again. Previously I did watch Guardian, but missed the Untamed hype at its peak bc I couldn't find a place where to watch it properly. I've watched that now and I'm watching Word of Honor at the moment (aaah it's so good!). I've alse read a few Danmei novels (translations obviously) and I'm really enjoying the tropes (even if the whole seme/uke thing gets pretty annoying)

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January 1st 2020

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 13:54:55 GMT

Everyone who follows me on tumblr should be really glad I actually for once made a side blog, because otherwise my dash would be all BTS all the time. I have also in two days time written 6k fic, which is not something I've managed to do in years. So thanks bts for reviving my fanfic writing? (might be too early to say, who knows, I might abandon this before it's finished)

Didn't do anything for new year's eve. Stayed at home and had the tv on super loud to try drown out the fireworks sounds, as my dog is really scared of them. At first she was shaking and actually voluntarily stayed on my lap, but calmed down a lot later and just lay down next to me for the rest of the night, which was a relief.

I think I didn't write about this, but before Christmas I had a small fire in my apartment, because I'm an idiot and turned on the wrong burner in my stove and there was a pot on it with a plastic pasta strainer on top of that. I guess the heat got so bad that the strainer caught on fire somehow? I was able to put it out before anything bad happened but the apartment smelled like burned plastic for two days... Fire detectors save lives, check that yours are working (advice for 2020 right there)

Christmas went well at home, even though I felt like 6 days might be pushing it beforehand, but things turned out to be chill. We made a 1000 piece puzzle with mom, listened to carols a lot and ate. I got a new vacuum cleaner as a present as well as some other small things.

Haven't looked for any year in review memes on here, but went trhough my posts and:
January: watched tv: the travelers and disco season 2 and the magicians season 4 (poor me was so excited to have this show back D:). I also moved apartments
February: I wrote a wonder woman/Kassandra fic (still haven't edited or posted this... oops?!) booked the trip to Italy, saw the Favourite in the cinema
March: first post about wanting to play d&d :D I was already DMing at this point (but not for d&d) and now I'm kind of bummed I haven't posted anything about getting started with that, because now I can't remember exactly when I started, but I think it was in 2019. Got into my first roll20 game as my Paladin character (this is the group I still play with, even though I jumped into DMing later), saw Captain Marvel, started watching Critical role --> March was a D&D month
April: Talking about finding a new job, the magicians and disco seasons were over and I had mixed feelings
May: turned 33, applied for 3 new jobs, saw endgame (did not like it), started the Orville (did not stick), went to Italy, got into the Vorgosigan saga through fic
June: Good Omens, accepted one of the job offers, started planning the move, had my last day in the old job at the 27th, the harry potter mobile game came out (or I started playing it)
July: Moved to a new city, had my summer vacation, started prepping for Waterdeep Dragonheist, had a graduation party for me six months late at home for my extended family :D Actually read some books (vorgosigan mostly, some d&d)
August: didn't post anything, but I started my new job
September: Still didn't post much, must have been the new job jitters :D
October: Talking about starting to draw again (still working on this), talking about the short therapy course I want to take, talking about doing nano, started a new game of d&d as a player but iffy about the group (Still am, I really should drop out. Note to self, PM the DM) I made a paladin for this campaign as well. I think at this point I have to accept it's my favourite class... especially because I still haven't managed to find a game that would let me play a wizard damn it! Talk about needed to get a new PC (still haven't done it, so much money needed!) and how I'd been feeling more creative and happy in general
November: talked about starting nano, Got sims university expansion (which was stupid, I regret paying money for it), went on a date
December: talk about how I didn't finish nano, Got into BTS fandom on the first week :D, watched a lot of youtube (Jenna Marbles and bts and d&d stuff mostly), got a drawing tablet on black friday sale, more talk about the short therapy course (this is still bending)

Seeing it like this makes me feel better about my year. I saw people post about their accomplishments on twitter a lot and didn't really remember anything cool I had done, but I actually did a lot off stuff! So for me personally 2019 was pretty good. Hopefully the trend will continue into next year

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December update nro 2(?)

Sat, 21 Dec 2019 20:07:34 GMT

Almost time for Christmas shenanigans! I'm going home tomorrow to spend the holidays with mom. I think I'll come back to here on Friday. That's such a long time to spend over there, I'm not sure it's a great idea, but we'll see. I'll need to pack a lot of books and other stuff to amuse myself with.

I have become totally addicted to Youtube, even more than I've previously been. (I just binge watched like 5 hours worth of Jenna Marbles videos yesterday and today. It might be even more like 7?) I think I should just cancel all my streaming services, it's not like I watch anything on there anymore...

Shows I plan on watching, even though I haven't so far:

the his dark materials show
the witcher
expanse seasons 3 and 4
gentleman Jack
Killjoys (I have 1 season to watch, unless a new one has come out)
and I feel like there's something else on HBO that I've been meaning to watch, but can't remember now
The Untamed, if it was on freaking Finnish netflix!!! why you do this to me netflix? It's not like some finnish tv channel has the rights to it, so what gives???

Oh the drawing tablet I ordered on a black friday sale finally got here on Wednesday and I played around with it a bit. I also got the free trial to skillshare, so I can look at drawing tutorials. It seems fun, except my computer only has one HDMI slot so if I use the tablet I can't use a screen at the same time, which is the whole point of the thing! I need to update my computer, but I don't have the money.... *whine* (but like seriously it's 5 years old) also somehow the tablet messed up my computer, which now doesn't think I have speakers, so I need to use headphones to watch videos, wtf computer, why?

I'm debating whether I should bring my whole computer with me to mom's or not... she has a laptop (my old one) but I have a feeling it might not even have and HDMI port and I wanna draw now that I have this freaking tablet. At the same time, it's winter and maybe I should not take the computer and new tablet on a long cold drive... I'll decide tomorrow.

There's this service where you can use an app to order real photos out of your phone photos, so I did that and got like 130 something photos. Most are from the trip to Italy. I'll need to get a real photo album again and organize them... eventually. But it's really nice to look at physical photos you guys! Also camera phone photo quality is really good these days. Some of these photos look amazing.

Randomly, I was thinking about BTS and how being a fan of them makes me feel a bit better about myself because some of them are getting close to 30 so they're not actual teenagers, like 1D were back in the day (even though I think all of them were in their 20's when I got into the fandom). Also why do I always pick the least popular guy as my favourite, or at least I never pick the most popular person. I always end up shipping rare pairings, even when I don't know it yet... anyway Kim Namjoon is my favourite. He's just such a goober.

Let's end with some work related news, because I'm a whole ass grown lady with a real job and everything! anyway the solution focused therapist training program emailed me on Friday and said I'd been accepted and that I needed to confirm that I was gonna take the training course by the 30th, which is messed up, like everyone is on holiday lady!!! this deadline is too soon! Also they said I need to have confirmation from my employer that it's cool for me to do this (I need to get clients through work). I did email my boss about this in early December but she hasn't gotten back to me yet and now she's on holiday obviously, like everyone is! If I confirm that I'm doing the training and then have to cancel I still need to pay half the fee, which is 2k! I can't afford that! I need to email them back and be like 'are you serious with the deadline date, everyone is literally on holiday right now?' but in a polite way.

Anyway, hi new DW friends from the friending meme!

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December

Wed, 04 Dec 2019 19:31:03 GMT

So I did not finish Nano this year either. I did make it to around 25k before stalling out, so that's still pretty good. I'm not unhappy with that. Now I just need to find a wordcount that actually works for me and how often I can make myself write without it becoming a chore...

Also in November: I went on a date last weekend and had a pretty good time. We've been sending messages after that and he called me today and we spent an hour talking about politics and how the world seems to be going down the drain, which while not very optimistic or fun topic, it was still nice to see we share opinions on important issues.

Then this week I've somehow tricked myself into the kpop fandom, which is a bit odd, as I didn't make the jump back in 2008-09 when I got out of jrock fandom :D But this seems fun now, and I suppose I've always gravitated to rps fandoms for one reason or another and I miss having an active fandom, so this might be fun. (I know the actual fandom can be... a bit much, but at the same time, I was in the 1D fandom and survived that, so hopefully this won't be worse than that)

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Games

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 16:29:50 GMT

Oh no, both the new Star Wars game and Sims4 university are now out... It's nanowrimo guys I don't need this right now!!!

I'm still also very confused if you can play as a female character in the Star wars game or not. If there's no option, all I can say is 'really in 2019 we're stuck playing a guys wtf'

I think I might get the sims expansion now and then get the Star wars game in December as a gift to myself. I might also need to upgrade my PC before it can run the SW game anyway... Urgh, so many things that need money, whyyyy?

But anyway, yay it's the weekend!

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Nanowrimo (almost half way through)

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 20:00:04 GMT

I'm a bit behind the wordcount. I have 19,633 words and I should have 21,671, but all in all I'm pretty proud of myself. Getting into the habit of writing at least something every day has been good for me. At least now I know I can still do it. So I'll keep trucking along. I also ended up changing my project after a few days. I found that the historical fantasy thing needs much more thought and research to really work as a nano project. So instead I started writing a hockey romance novel :D

The strange fringe effect of it has been to make me want to get back to watching hockey. I haven't really followed the NHL in the past two seasons and I hear both the Caps and Bruins are doing pretty well (also my goblin team the Leafs)

Also in D&D news, I just got ghosted by a DM, which has now happened twice. Basically I had been playing in their game and then suddenly the DM just vanished. In the first case the DM just abandoned the discord channel and never replied to messages before we even got to our first session, but this new one was weirder because we were 4 sessions in, then they said they had to cancel for the week and then today I just noticed that they had deleted the whole discord server. I guess I might have just been booted out, but it's hard to see why that would have happened. Either way, weird.

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Nanowrimo

Fri, 01 Nov 2019 19:17:22 GMT

Oh no, the new nano site isn't making that cool graph off your progress anymore! Now it's just a bar that will fill up. This is not what I wanted, I liked being able to mouse over all the pillars and seeing how many words I did each day. Boo~ for this change. Also the site has always been clunky and weird but it feels even less functional now, it is a bit prettier though.

But I did manage 3029 words today, which is great because I need to make a buffer at the start in case I have slow days or maybe even days when I can't write at all

Also ouch my fingers and wrist hurt now, too much typing for one day when I haven't been writing much at all in ages.

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Nano and rpg things

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 20:09:10 GMT

Okay so nanowrimo starts on Friday... I still haven't locked in which story I actually want to write. I'm kind of leaning towards going with my fantasy idea, but the problem with that is that it's never going to be finished in 50k and then I'd be left with something I would need to keep working on after nano is over, which did not work out last time I won nano (still haven't finished that story) If I go with one of the romance novel ideas instead I think I have a much better chance doing a story from start to finish. I'll have to think about it some more.

In rpg news, I bought a new tabletop rpg book (or books). It's called Legend of the Five Rings and it's basically a fantasy feudal Japan - the game. I looked into it as much as I could before buying it and it doesn't seem to be offensive but I think some might think it's cultural appropriation. I dunno, I always feel kind of ambivalent about this stuff when it comes to Japan, as they happily do similar things to other cultures (look at any anime ever). idk, anyway the point is I love history and magic and would love to play a samurai... :D Also there doesn't seem to be any gender locked stuff, so you can be a woman warrior etc and not just locked into being a healer or something. I just got the book tonight so I don't have time to read much of it, but I'm looking forward to it.

I've been watching this playthrough of the new Fire Emblem game and really wish it was on PS4 and not just on Switch, but being able to watch the game has been fun too. Adam is almost done with it (I think) and afterwards I'm going to go look for fic and art, because I bet there's a ton. Here's the first episode if someone else is interested. The host, Adam is queer and seems lovely in general, his commentary is really funny too

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Fic rec (I guess)

Sat, 19 Oct 2019 17:45:46 GMT

I just finished reading that 90k fanfic about Crowley going to therapy and now I'm just sitting here with that good empty feeling you get after you finish reading something great. Just wow. This is definitely a fic I'll come back to periodically over the years

Just in case you haven't been recced it yet here's the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177950

I have so many thoughts about Aubrey! Aaaah!

Do you ever just see a fic like this and get all jealous of other people's talent? I'm trying to be better about it, but sometimes, yeah sometimes it's hard. <3

I left the writing a pretty incoherent comment (which is why I very rarely comment on stories) and wanted to copy paste it here, because I think I need to think about this story more and I need to have this at hand

( spoilers for the story )

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Second post in a month, what is this?

Fri, 11 Oct 2019 16:29:13 GMT

I missed Yuletide nominations, boo! Has the nomination period gotten shorter, or am I just imagining it... So I didn't get to nominate any D&D stuff sadly. Not that I think anyone would have written anything for such a tiny fandom anyway, but alas now I will never know.

This weekend I need to vacuum the apartment and maybe go look at couches, I really don't like my current couch and I need one that's a sofa-bed for when I get guests. My current couch is too hard and narrow, you can't really get comfortable on it, which is the whole point of having a couch at all!

I also need to let my landlord know the dishwasher doesn't work. I've been meaning to tell him about it for almost two months now... My procrastination knows no bounds. I think the big issue here is that I don't want him to come into my apartment. He's like in his sixties and seems totally harmless, so that's not the issue, I just generally dislike the idea of letting a stranger in here. Also it means I need to clean etc, which is also a pain in the butt.

I've decided to try nano again, I think I wrote about it in the last post as well, but it seems like a good idea. *nod nod*

There's school holiday all next week, so it'll be interesting to see what that's like, considering that the beginning of August was really quiet and boring. I do have a lot of documenting to do, so that should tide me over a few days I guess.

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October! (so much talk about money in this post)

Sat, 05 Oct 2019 20:41:18 GMT

Two months since I started the new job and it's still pretty nice. Things have gotten a lot more busy, but I like it much better than my previous jobs.

I bought the humble bundle for all the art programs and spend the afternoon installing them. I hope I'll get back to drawing a bit more. I haven't really had a proper art program to use, except an ancient version of photoshop from like 2005. I'm not actually any good at it and with digital art it's all wonky because you can't just look at what your hand is doing, but you need to draw and watch your screen... very complicated. I'm kind of tempted to spend money on some other stuff as well but I managed to stop myself... :'D Good thing too, because I realized I hadn't paid rent yet this month and now my band account balance looks a lot less cushy. I did spend some money paying off more of my credit card dept. I still have too much after the Rome trip in May, which I haven't paid off + everything else I've gotten since, but the other card only has like 200€ on it anymore, which is a relief and I can pay that off later this month and get to the other card after that.

As I'm on the topic of money, I tried to do some math to see how expensive it would be to go to Worldcon 2020 in New Zealand. The flights weren't as bad as I had thought, it was like 1100€ return trip, but when you add to that accommodation and the event tickets + spending money it would be closer to 2500€ trip and no freaking way do I have that kind of money to spend on a holiday!

Especially because I'm thinking of applying for a Advanced Solution-Focused Practitioner training program next spring. The program takes almost two years and costs over 3k all together, so I need to save up for that. It's basically short term therapy/counseling thing, and I feel like I really need it for this new job. It's also useful later if I want to apply for psychotherapy training programs. I can apply for that in two years (need the right kind of job experience first), so it kind of lines up pretty well. It's another expensive program, but I guess it's not so bad considering I didn't have to pay anything for university before this... Also I'm hoping the prices might go down, there has been talk that there aren't enough therapists around and the cost of the training is definitely part of the problem.

It's kind of funny how interested I've become in psychology and counseling in the past year, when back in university I didn't do any psychology courses even though I could have until my last year. (hindsight 20/20). It's also made me wonder if I should get therapy for myself now, but then again you need to do therapy during the psychotherapy training and I don't want to spend the money twice! -_-

I'm thinking I should try to do nanowrimo again this year. I haven't been writing much of anything all year and I feel like the format actually worked well for me the one time I actually finished it. I have a few romance novels plotted out, now I just need to write some words down, which is always the hardest part.

I'm still doing a lot of d&d, I might have a problem... I'm only playing in two games (and I'm thinking I might drop the other game. Tomb of Annihilation just isn't for me, there's so much of just traveling and nothing happening + the plot seems almost non-existent somehow?) The other games starts on Monday. I'm a bit worried about the other players, they are all really young and one player seems obsessed with his drunken master monk being drunk all the time and that seems like a recipe for disaster. I ended up making a new paladin (conquest this time) because paladin was great and this campaign should do to high levels and I'm curious to see how that would be like.

I would really like to play Descend into Avernus, but haven't had luck finding a game yet. (I basically need it to be on a Sunday or Wednesday)

So two games seems like a reasonable amount right? Well the problem is that I'm also DM'ing three games right now... :D Oops? They are all premade modules, so it's less work for me, but there's still prep I need to do. I'm doing Waterdeep Dragon Heist, Dragon of Icespire Peak and then a GM Guild's Module called Call from the Deep. I just like the power too much I think, which I'm not gonna examine more right now xD I am totally a benevolent god though, I think I might be too nice sometimes, but then again I'm still learning the ropes and it feels bad to kill the players, so I've been avoiding that (mitigating damage or splitting the attacks among more than one player most of the time)

Oh and last weekend I went to see arilyn9 and her bf looked at my PC to see how I could upgrade it. As I knew already my graphics card (or driver, I'm not sure what it's called in English) and most of the other components are super old now and I should put about 600-700€ to get new things. Urgh, why does everything cost so much money? I have two graphics cards in mind, one would be cheaper, under 300 but if I put a 150 more I could get a significantly better one, which would then last longer, which would save money in the long run. I'll have to think about it some more. I get paid on the 20th so I have time to figure out how much I want to spend.

Just generally I feel pretty good, I feel like I have a lot of creative energy, which I think was rekindled by d&d, so that's been nice. Work is good, the pets are doing good. One thing I'd like to change would be to somehow get one more irl friend I could hang out with. Hanging out with people online is pretty good for my need to socialize in general, but right now I only have one irl friend, which seems precarious. I went back to find out when messy_kisses died and I totally missed the anniversary, it was on the 17th of September and now I feel guilty about that too, I thought it was in October. I can't believe it's been over a year now. :(

Well that's a cheery note to end the entry on.

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WoW classic

Wed, 11 Sep 2019 18:15:58 GMT

Did any of you ever play? I used to play since Vanilla WoW in 2005 until early Cataclysm, where I burned out because I just never liked to world changes and I guess at that point I realised that I would never get to the level ceiling the casual way I was playing and that the MMOness of the game never really worked for me, because I just wanted to play by myself and it was too hard to do that except maybe with a hunter.

And yet, now I'm installing wow classic and subscribed for a month of game time, like the sucker I am... :D Well, I guess I just have to do this to myself, see how far the nostalgia value will take me.

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September!

Tue, 03 Sep 2019 17:39:50 GMT

Have been working at the new job for a month now and I think it was definitely the right thing to do to switch jobs. There's so much less responsibility and I'm getting paid just as much (or as little) and my new co-workers seem very nice.

I'm still doing a lot of d&d stuff and enjoying that. It's super nice to have an active fandom again, even if there isn't any fic for this one really... :D

muccamukk posted this video of Pink's live performance last week, which lead me into a Pink spiral for a bit. Whoof she's so my type, if I can say I have a type (small blonde women though really attract me when it comes to celebrities and fictional characters)

This one is very very good for me around the middle with the aerial silks

and I mean do I even need to say anything? Pink on a motorcycle!

Then I ended up googling views in the Lake District in England and other hiking trails in Scotland and now I really want to make a trip to the UK next Spring, but with the way Brexit is going... who even knows what's happening there come May. Urgh.

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July is gone

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 18:36:47 GMT

Went to visit my mom last weekend and we went to the summer cabin. It was really nice (there was the heatwave going, which was a bit too hot for me) and we had some of my relatives visiting and had a small graduation celebration for me (with cake) My cousins also brought their sup board and I finally got to try it. It was super fun and I want to get one next summer (it's like made for a small lake like we have at the cabin, there's hardly ever any waves)

Work starts tomorrow! I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or what time I should get to work, but I'm sure it'll sort itself out. I think school only starts next week, so I'm hoping there's time for planning and figuring out how we're splitting up responsibilities with the other people in our team. (two psychologists and one other school counselor)

I've actually managed to read and listen to books this month, which has been a relief. I've read the first Lord John book by Diana Gabaldon, and two of the short stories about him. I really enjoyed them, but sadly there seems to be no fic really, which sucks. I've also listened to two of the Vorkosigan books about Miles and I started Cetaganda today. I had to pick up another audiobook app to get there, as I didn't want to pay for the paperbacks. I've kind of put myself on ban for buying new books, which has led me to abusing this loophole about audiobooks xD I also listened to a Forgotten Reals book called the God Catcher, which I really enjoyed and I want to read something else by this author Erin M Evans. For some reason she's only written Forgotten Realms books, but if they're as fun as this one was I don't mind.

I've also been doing a lot of game prep for my Waterdeep Dragonheist game, if by prep we mean, watched and read a lot of random lore things. :D There's so much STUFF out there about everything in Forgotten Realms, it can get a bit overwhelming tbh, but at the same time it's fun to learn about.

I think there was something else I wanted to write about but now I've forgotten... Oh the weather, It's back to being super cold again, it was about +13C on tuesday, but it got a but warmer today. I don't miss the +33C weather at all, but this is a bit too cold for July, I hope it goes back to low 20's still in August. I love warm autumns.

( photo of me under the cut )
I bumped into this gif today, while I was trying to find photos of short haired female characters (this is a nightmare, how is this so hard?!) and I had kind of forgotten how hot Cassandra is! The eternal injustice of not being able to romance her with a female Inquisitor, seriously Bioware, shame on you

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Does someone want to play D&D?

Sat, 13 Jul 2019 17:25:35 GMT

So I've been meaning to start DMing a new D&D campaign soonish and I was wondering if someone on my circle would be interested in joining? It would be one of the official D&D module adventures (I own Waterdeep Dragonheist and Lost Mines of Phandelver, but I'd be open to buying one of the other ones, if people have preferences)
It would obviously be online game with voice on discord and the game on roll20. It will most likely be on a Saturday and start around 6-7pm GTM+3 which would make it around noon in America. I'd like to do a weekly game, but if it's too often for people it could be every other week.
New players definitely welcome!

Also I saw this quiz on someones journal and nabbed it. I was super happy with what I got, and looking at my answers and what other options I could have gotten was super interesting too. :D

( D&D character quiz )

ps. I should really get a D&D icon, I keep posting about it so often these days

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I wanna do cosplay again!

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 20:23:37 GMT

More specifically, I want to do Jester cosplay from Critical role... I might have looked up some tutorials and things online and man I forgot how expensive it is do this stuff. Just getting the accessories like horns, make-up, arms sleeves, wig is +100€ and that doesn't even include all the fabric and maybe faux leather I'd need to get for the actual outfit. *ouch* but at the same time, I'm all like: but I wanna and stomping my foot, which I think is channeling my inner Jester pretty well. Idk I'll have to think about it some more. Also I think I'm too late for this for this summer, the only con I'm definitely going this summer is in two weeks, so there's no hope for that one. There's another con I'd love to go to at the end of July and there's always Tracon in September, but I dunno if I'm going this year (the tickets might have already sold out anyway) Drat...

Packing my stuff is going steadily and I need to ramp up tomorrow. I did promise mom I'd have most of it packed when she gets here on Sunday after all

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June is almost over, how?

Thu, 27 Jun 2019 15:24:19 GMT

Had my last day at the current job and I think I managed to tie off most of the things that were unfinished. Now I need to get to packing up my stuff quite seriously, the moving company is coming on Tuesday and mom is coming on Sunday to help me out. She's going to stay with me in the new apartment for a few days afterwards, so that should be nice (unless she insists I need to unpack everything instantly)

Then I'll have July off and start the new job in August.

Tumblr is still like 80% Good Omens content and I'm slowly getting bored of it. There really is only so many ways in which you can gif 20 or so scenes :'D I never really read fic for this pairing when it was just the book and I still don't really care to. I might if there was like an epic slow burn pining fic, but other than that, I'm happy with just these canon things we have now.

I've already packed all my books (I always start there because books are easy to pack and also important things must be packed first), otherwise I might be tempted to read the book again. (My book reading challenge for myself is going terribly, I still haven't read anything... Maybe I can finally get something read when I'm on vacation *fingers crossed*)

I started playing the new Harry Potter mobile game (from Niantic who made Pokemon Go) and I like it, there's a lot more to do than there is in Pokemon go. Only thing they need to do is fix the bug that stops me from looking at my profile. If I open that the game crashes every time :D I wish they had something you could send your friends like you can in Pokemon go, I miss that part. My code is 8488 8838 5140 if you are playing and want more friends.

I joined a third D&D game... (I might have a problem) and finally got to play wizard. The magic user is always my favourite in rpg's so I've been dying to get to play one. We just got to level too last night and so far I've enjoyed it a lot! I made a faction agent so my investigation is high and an important part of the character (we're trying to solve crime right now).

In the first game that I ever joined my Paladin is still level 4. The DM seems eager to make us wait longer and longer to level up, which I'm starting to resent. He also likes to make things "more realistic" ie carry capacity and we've yet to find any treasure, also he insists that the world exists out of our characters so basically any encounter could be deadly for us, and many have been super dangerous (someone drops to 0 hitpoints at least once a game) and I don't like that either. I think the problem I have with this type of game is that we never really get to feel like heroes, we're always scrabbling on with out fingernails, lucky to survive or to escape with our lives. Like last session he had a tomb guardian skeleton that had multi attack (4 attacks as the skeleton had 4 arms for some reason). The thing hit me 3 times (missed once) and I had 1 hitpoint left. Okay I heal myself, then things happen and we aggro it again and it one shots me in two hits (with 2 crits) and I'm the tank of my party mind with 17 AC, it almost does enough damage to kill me outright (doing almost double damage over my hitpoint max) and then I guess because the DM realised he'd made the monster too powerful he decided not to try land the two more attacks that the fucking thing had, which made me even more mad (also this happened to the rogue too, got hit to 0 and then the monster turned away, because "it felt like we were of no concern anymore") and okay I'd rather not die thanks (I really want to get to lvl5 when I get all sorts of cool stuff) but at the same time, why does the DM make the enemies so hard???? We're doing a quest he gave us, so it's not like we're not supposed to be here???

Okay rant over

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More job talk

Mon, 10 Jun 2019 10:48:05 GMT

So I got offered those two school counsilor jobs (I don't think it's quite the right job title, that matches my job description 100%, but it's close enough) and I picked the permanent position, even though the one year job would have been in my favourite city, so it smarts not to take it.

I've used most of my time today organizing the move and all kinds of small things I need to get into order before things are settled, but now it should be all ready to go. The moving company is coming on the 2nd of July and I have a couple of options for apartments lined up. I really hope I end up liking this job, because I REALLY want to stop moving constantly (if I could live in one place for 2 years... idk sounds so unrealistic even to write it down. Maybe I should aim for a year to start. :D)

The moving company is really expencive (even though I picked the cheapest option, there were two companies that had outrageous prices!) but at least this way I don't have to carry all my stuff myself or drive the moving van, or take care of returning it after I've moved. I think that piece of mind and saving all that time and effort will be worth it.

I get to have July off and start the new job on the 1st of August, which is also nice, because I already had 2 weeks off in my current job this May, so I have 6 weeks vacation this summer!!! :O

The plan I had about reading 3 books each month this summer is not going great... I've yet to read anything. >:(

I have been playing a lot of D&D though, which continues to be fun! I just wish I was more quick witted so I could roleplay better, but I hope that's something I'll get better at with practice.

Oh and Good Omens was great! I was worried about the actors when they were announced and they looked so stupid in the still images that were shown before the show aired (and I still don't know why they went with those hair colors...) but when in action, the actors were adorable and super in love and it was all good. <3

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quick hits

Sat, 01 Jun 2019 16:17:00 GMT

* Came back from Italy; had a good time, but didn't like it as much as I liked Spain. Also there seems to be a critical mass to how many marble statues I can look at before it all becomes a blur (I'll make a photo post later)

* Got offered two of the jobs I've applied for, so I'm definitely moving again this summer, keeping up with my recent course of moving every 6 months (I really should get rid of more stuff if this is going to continue, but to me, I don't actually have unnecessary stuff)

* I've been reading this super epic Vorkosigan saga fanfic (I've read more than 200k by now), which is pretty funny considering I've never read any of the books

* Good Omens, the tv show is out and I think I'll spend some time this weekend watching that. I've seen on tumblr that it is very heavy handed with the shipping, which I'm sure I will enjoy a lot. :D

* I think I will try to read some books this summer. I've read almost nothing this year and it makes me feel bad. I think I'll make an easy goal for myself, three books a month, so that would be 9 books by the end of August

* I would also like to write something, so I asked for a kink bingo card. I think writing short and smutty things will be fun. I should make a list of fandoms I want to write in, so it could help me narrow down things a bit more, to help me combat indecision

* I feel like there might have been something else I wanted to mention, but it's gone now...

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May still

Mon, 13 May 2019 14:29:22 GMT

Had my birthday on Friday. 33 now... Not sure how to feel about this tbh. Also didn't do anything fun for it, or get presents or cake or anything. Kind of depressing all around.

It's been kind of amazing and fun to follow GoT through twitter. People are always so angry on Mondays now and it's fun to try to figure out what happened in the episode just from rage tweets. :'D I'm so glad I never watched beyond season 2 (I've actually read all the books, but I don't feel invested in those either)

random fandom thought I had today about enemies to lovers pairings and why I don't like them. I think it has something to do with my trust issues and the fact that these types of pairings are usually about the hero and the villain falling for each other and that goes towards my issues about power imbalances and general aversion to conflict. I guess I just can't wrap my head around why anyone would start to like someone they previously thought was their enemy (or as a bad person). The only way I can really see myself liking enemies to lovers is if there's first a real redemption arc for the enemy/villain and I get to see that they've actually changed.
---> of course there are exceptions to these, because I do like arranged marriage fics where the pairing doesn't like each other at first (or at least they think the other person doesn't like them)
--> I also really ship Thor/Loki which could fit into enemies to lovers, except the dynamic doesn't really start out from there
--> I might also be thinking enemies to lovers and villain/hero pairings are the same and they might not be, but I can't really think of any enemies to lovers pairings where the other person isn't the villain...

I may have started creating my own d&d campaign world... oops? (except I think this is peak me, as I love worldbuilding... I think the problems will come from trying to come up with quests and a plot for the thing)

Oh and my Italy trip is next week! How is time going by so quickly???? I've only planned my Naples days so far... I'm afraid I may have kind of bollocksed up the Rome part already, as I haven't booked any tickets in advance. *shrug* idk, I think there'll be a lot of stuff to do anyway even if I don't get to go to all the super touristy places. (and that'll be a reason to go back some day. I think going during the winter would be smart as there wouldn't be so many other tourists around)

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It's May!

Thu, 02 May 2019 19:20:55 GMT

I got offered the job I applied for (I had the job interview today). I'm not feeling super excited about it though, I don't know what to make of that, as I thought I was ready for a change... Hmm. I have over the weekend to think about it before I have to let them know.

It seems Simon Pegg and company are going to make a River's of London tv show. On the one hand, yay! On the other hand, it's a bunch of white guys making a Rivers of London show. They'd better not whitewash it.

Nothing much else has been going on. I'm still really enjoying all kinds of D&D content and it's nice to have something I'm really excited about again.

I've watched 3 episodes of the Orville and it seems okay. I see why some people feel like it's more trek than Discovery, as the episode topics seem pretty trekky. I think I'll keep watching.

I saw Endgame and was annoyed with a lot of it. I was even more annoyed after I had read some meta about it. I especially hated what they did with Thor. Captain Marvel was my favourite part about the whole thing. I'm so here for more of her adventures as well as the next Black Panther but beyond that? I guess I'll go see the new Spiderman this summer as Homecoming was very cute and Tom Holland is fine, but after seeing the animated film I'm just mad we couldn't get Miles Morales instead

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Spring, finally!

Mon, 22 Apr 2019 16:56:48 GMT

Went to see a friend for Easter and that was fun, even though the drive was too long (closer to 4 hours). We didn't really do much, watched some youtube videos, the Beyonce Coachella concert on Netflix and played some board games. We also went to grill some sausages outside, which is the only place where you should ever eat sausages tbh.

It's that time of year when I'm looking for a new job. My current job is okay, but there's to much driving and I don't want to do that for much longer and definitely not for another winter. Also my boss is a jerk, so that is a factor also.

There's a job opening in my home town and I think that might be nice for a while. I think it would be nice to live near my mom, also built in pet sitter for when I want to travel, with much less hassle than it's been for these past few years. I think I'll send an email to the job and ask a few details.

There's also another job I was eyeing, mostly because it has school counselor stuff built in, which I think I might like, but it's really hard to get your foot in the door of without any experience.

Oh and D&D tonight! whoo, maybe we'll get to level 3 after this session. (I want those oath powers damnit!)

Then some TV stuff:

( magicians and disco )

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Fri, 05 Apr 2019 18:17:08 GMT

Ow, my shoulders are so tense and messed up. It really doesn't help that I spend most of my work day sitting at a computer and then I come home and sit at my computer some more.

Anyway, I'm meeting with my local rpg group tomorrow and we'll be rolling D&D characters for them and next time we'll start Waterdeep Dragon Heist with me as the GM... :D I hope it's not going to be a disaster. I've never GM'ed a d&d game and it is more complicated as a system than the games I've done before. I also hope the players will want to make characters that have prior relationships/know each other, as I think that would help with the RP elements (so hopefully they will talk amongst each other while I shuffle my papers desperately :D)

My Italy trip is only about a month away and I haven't planned out anything yet, like looked up places I def want to go see etc... Uh... well there's still time and at least I got my passport renewed in time.

NHL playoffs are starting next week and I'm debating whether I want to renew my viaplay subscription so I can watch the games. I don't really have any particular team I care about and really want to win though... I guess I could just root for the Canes for the chaos potential and they do have quite a few Finns on their team. Also I guess Nashville is cool.

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